


Lost and Found

by ausynja



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluffy, M/M, discovering soulates, soulates, soulname
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 04:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10454940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausynja/pseuds/ausynja
Summary: "He would die if I wouldn't remind him to eat and sleep.""Nothing has changed much then, I supposed.""No." Al shrugged his shoulders, "Big brother always was and always will be needing someone to take care of him." Mustang nodded as he took a sip from his glass of whiskey, watching the golden liquid as he put the glass down again.Al cleared his throat"I'm terribly sorry to ask a favour of you. But, could you please go and check on Ed?"





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Engraved](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7639108) by [Nimohtar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nimohtar/pseuds/Nimohtar). 



> This royed fanfiction was inspired by this beautiful art and beautiful fanfiction by nimohtar
> 
> http://nimohtar.tumblr.com/post/148067518218/thursday-28th-july-prompt-soul-marks-on-the-arm
> 
> I advise you to admire the art and read their works before you start reading my mumble jumble...  
> Although mine is some kind of prequel I let you decide on the order.

                                             ~                                             ~                                             ~

Edward did remember it. It was still etched into his mind, blurred by time. The name of his soul mate. He had had it. On his upper arm.

But it had vanished into the gate of truth, along with his arm. As a child he hadn't given this name much credit. He had been too young to understand the vastness of importance it could mean to him. Had been too occupied to impress his mother, too fixated on the alchemy to bring her back.

And then, only one name was important to him; Alphonse

His brother, his only family, trapped in a suit of armour, had filled his mind and soul. Alphonse's well being, the rescue of his body from the gate, it had consumed him.

No one could understand how much love he had for his brother. Alphonse had always been the most important person in Edward's life.

Still was, all back in flesh and bones, smiling like nothing could wipe it away forever. Enjoying the food he had listed, feeling the sun on his skin, training with rapture to be able to walk again. Edward had always been by his side. Had supported him, had taken the same deep breaths with his brother to move on forward. Step by step, reclaiming a bright future.

But as much as Al grew the more Edward realised that there was not much help he could provide anymore. Alphonse was strong and able to walk again, to help himself, cook for himself, shower without any help.

Recently, he had put up a fight with his older brother, explaining that he could manage on his own. Ed had stomped around their little apartment in anger, had been spitting curses, and slammed all the doors shut.

If only he had know that Alphonse had only done it to protect his brother. He had seen the looks Edward had given him. His eyes glued to the name on his chest. The mark to identify his soul mate. Edward had always been in a grumpy mood after the shower. Grumpier than usual. And even though Al knew it had nothing to do with him, he had wanted to at least spare Ed from the pain. All Edward seemed to wish for was another burden, one that had been taken from him.

Al would know as soon as "Linda" would walk past him that they would share their new world together.

Something that was denied for Edward ever to experience.

 

Months passed and Alphonse grew stronger, made up what he wanted to do with his future now. He wouldn't follow his brother into the military. Instead he wanted to learn much more. Wanted to soak up everything like a sponge, everything that he had never had time for. He had enrolled at the local university, unable to part from his brother, who had decided to stay in Capital City. Ed had insisted that it was only a convenience to stay in one place, close to his superior officer. It would reduce too much travelling.

And maybe something else.

Alphonse was not dumb. Nor was he blind. Neither while he had been in the suit of armour, nor now. He had seen the hidden glances Edward had dared to cross the room, when he believed that no one was paying attention. Al was sure he was the only one who could see beyond the facade his brother put up. As he also knew the pain on Edward's face too well.

Alphonse had tried to cheer him up or talk him into leaving the military. So far, nothing had worked. Edward's happiness slipping further away.

So he had to watch his brother suffer in silence, alone in his little room, staring at his automail arm.

The iron gleamed silver in the pale light of the moon, showing off Winry's talented craftsmanship. He turned his arm to the right; the dim light reflected the amazing work his childhood friend had created. And the deep cuts and scratches he himself had added over the years.

Still his arm kept its secret no matter what.

 

A shadow hang over Alphonse second birthday. The anniversary of having come back into the world. Alphonse's friends from university where celebrating with him. Also present were General Mustang and his team, and Linda. A beautiful girl with big blue eyes and curled auburn hair. Pink lips and a smile that lit up the damp day.

At least it did for Alphonse.

Before he had even known her name, he had fallen for her. Edward had stopped counting the days and nights his little brother had been talking about her. Then one day he had made his move. Of course with Edward's help (or impatience), whatever someone would like to call it. Both brothers had frozen in their movements when she had introduced herself. But only one had recovered.

Although Edward always smiled at Al, made his jokes about the two and seemed genuinely happy. Al could see beyond the facade his brother was putting up for him.

To give him and let him live in peace.

 

As night drew close, their beverages dwindled into single numbers. With a prominent smile on his face, Edward had excused himself from the party, to go and get more. Surely, mused Al, he wanted to be alone for a while. To curse and spit and kick the cobble stone on the way to a shop a little further away than needed.

The noise his automail leg made echoed in the narrow hallway of the house. Silencing every other noise around.

A chilly wind blew into his face as he opened up the door to the outside. Edward took a deep breath and let the first curse slip past his teeth. As the door closed itself behind him, the unmistakable sound of footsteps, made him take a deep breath.

The litany of words he had kept to himself all the time, died on his tongue.

"Fuck off, Mustang", was what came out instead.

He didn't get much of an answer as Roy Mustang slowed down beside him, his hands folded on his back.

"Being in a great mood again, Fullmetal!"

"Not your business!"

Mustang only raised his face up to the sky. One or two stars had made it through the clouds and the ever glowing light of the city lights.

"Aren’t you happy for your little brother?"

"Overjoyed!" Edward grunted.

Although he was telling the truth, he had not the intentions to let Mustang in on anything!

"You know you're upsetting Alphonse with your behaviour?"

Edward only gave a shrug. Of course he did! That was the whole fucking point of him getting out there. To give Al some time with his friends without having to worry over him.

"Anything upsetting you?"

"Not your business Mustang!" Edward made a face. "Now go back and play soldier and stop fucking annoying me!"

But Mustang did not follow Edward's request and continued walking along by his side, quiet now. He didn't say anything else, just walked by his side, not even glancing at Edward. He entered the shop with him and took a bottle of whiskey from the shelf. Ed had taken his time to choose what he would bring back to the party. He wanted to waste some time. But in the end, of course beer was the only real choice.

When he brought the bottles to the counter to pay, Roy placed his purchase next to Ed's.

"Not paying for your stuff Mustang!"

"I know Fullmetal. Instead let me pay for you."

The dumbfounded look he received was good enough to put a smile on the older man's face. But he kept it hidden behind his masks. General Mustang watched Edward collect the bottles of beer, cursing under his breath. Roy's smile showed on his face. He couldn't hide it anymore as the still shorter man balanced all those glass bottles.

But Edward didn't see it. He was too occupied with the drinks to arrange them for the way home than to pay attention what Mustang was doing.

"Wait let me…"

"Not a kid Mustang! I can do that on my own!" He had loaded almost everything onto his right arm. Automail wouldn't tire as fast as his flesh arm would.

They walked back in complete silence. Only the wind, the rustle of their clothes and the sound of footsteps in the distance interrupted the quiet. Most people would surely be closer to the centre of the city, sitting in bars and making a fool out of themselves.

 

Although Mustang was still walking next to him, Edward had finally managed to calm down. From the piercing jealousy and his racing heart. One was clearly the result of seeing his brother so very fucking happy. While the latter was a direct cause by the proximity of Roy Mustang.

Why, of all fucking people, had the bastard decided to come along?! He had had enough for one day. Seeing his brother making his own way in the world, while handsome shitty Mustang was being breathtaking as always.

Edward had tried to avoid him all night long. No matter where Ed had tried to sit, Mustang had been talking to someone, always in the line of his sight. No matter how hard Ed had tried to distract himself, Mustang had always managed to slip into his line of vision.

Edward's racing heart hadn't had time to calm down for even a minute. Neither had his brain from giving him images of what he had wanted to do to the man. None of them ever involving violence, but care and skin on skin.

And now that bastard was walking next to him. There was not much to do but to calm down his heart and tell himself that his dreams could never be.

Mustang and him could never be a thing.

 

In silence they had made their way upstairs into the tiny apartment. A loud cheer came from one of Al's friends at the sight of more booze. Edward handed around what he was carrying, feeling the weight on his arm lessen. Then he placed the rest of the beer down in the kitchen.

And without another word, Edward picked up the book he had been reading and vanished into his room.

 

"Funny brother you got there Al!" Remarked a young man, at least two years older.

"My brother loves his alchemy, what can I say. We have kept him too long away from his book already!"

Almost everyone in the room snickered. Havoc's had probably been the loudest.

Breda, Falman and Fuery had already said their goodbyes about an hour ago. Nonetheless the party went on rather loudly.

At some point Alphonse had managed to get a little closer to the remaining team of soldiers. It was no surprise to find Hawkeye and Havoc discussing a weapon which had come out three days ago. The General sat there, his eyes turned toward the two. But it was obvious that his thoughts where somewhere else.

Al hoped that he'd been reading the signs correctly.

"Excuse me, General", Roy twitched as he had been pulled rather forcefully out of his thoughts.

"I'm a little worried about my brother. I hope he's not reading that book in the dark. Last time, there had almost been no space between his nose and the pages he had tried to read in the dark." Alphonse gave a warming smile as he remembered the night he had found his brother at the open window. The moon hadn't supplied enough light to read, to Edward's liking.

General Mustang raised a brow at the younger Elric.

"He'd done that twice!" Added Alphonse with a smile. "He would die if I wouldn't remind him to eat and sleep."

"Nothing has changed much then, I supposed."

"No." Al shrugged his shoulders, "Big brother always was and always will be needing someone to take care of him." Mustang nodded as he took a sip from his glass of whiskey, watching the golden liquid as he put the glass down again.

Al cleared his throat

"I'm terribly sorry to ask a favour of you. But, could you please go and check on Ed? Unfortunately I'm too busy with my guests." Al nodded towards the three guys and two girls who where happily drinking, talking and generally enjoying themselves. They could have managed on their own for a while. But Al found his suspicion proving true as the General nodded and added;

"Of course I'd do that for you."

He rose from the chair, took his glass of whiskey and headed towards the closed door at the end of the hall.

Alphonse smiled to himself. With a bit of luck, the night would end on a much happier note for his brother.

 

The younger Elric had been right. Edward sat close to his window, back towards the glass as the moon lit up the book's pages. Edward's nose was indeed almost literally buried inside the book.

"You know you'll go blind if you keep reading like this!"

Edward was so startled that he almost fell from the chair he had been sitting on.

"None of your business!"

"I know, I know" was the reply as Mustang held up his hands in the universal sign of surrender, while trying not to spill his drink.

"Your brother's worried about you. He asked me to check on you."

"I’m fine. Now get out!"

But nothing was further from Roy's mind. He took a step or two closer, towards the window.

"We're both worried." Mustang's confession was almost a whisper.

"I know you when you're upset but this", he waved a hand at the stubborn young man, "This is different."

Edward's only answer was a shrug of his shoulders. He tried to look indifferent but both of them knew that this was only an act.

Roy took another step closer and sat down on the only bed in the room. Right opposite of its owner.

He tried to choose his words with care, knowing how much Fullmetal hated to feel manipulated.

"Would you tell me what's bothering you?"

Edward looked away, hiding those bright golden eyes from the world. He closed the book and placed it on the windowsill behind himself. For once he would take the offer, to tell someone what was on his mind.

"I'm jealous." It was a whisper. A quiet acknowledgement.

Mustang didn't say a word. But it seemed like Edward felt the need to continue talking.

"Al's got everything we ever dreamt of. A normal life. With friends and …." His voice broke.

Edward didn't dare to say the word ‘family’, because he didn't want to lose that last bit of connection.

"You mean the girl? The one with the auburn hair?"

Edward nodded. "You know, she's / _the one_ /. The one who's always meant to be with him, whose name Al had been carrying around with him."

Edward's shoulders slumped lower.

"I’m happy for him, believe me. But I feel left out. He's got his future, while I'm still stuck in the past. I'm afraid he'll turn back into a suit of armour. I dream about it every night. For him to lose everything, being swallowed by the gate entirely."

His voice hoarse now, Edward stopped talking. He had already said too much. Had opened up himself to someone he hadn't dared to trust. His heart was screaming at him to open up all his feelings, his concerns in front of the man who also haunted his dreams. But his mind was weary and suspicious.

Still, after all those years.

"I know you are happy for your brother. We all know that. He knows that! But we all want to see you happy as well."

Edward shrugged his shoulders in response.

Mustang had leaned a little forward, arms resting on his knees. Glass still in hand. His gaze was fixed on Fullmetal. Those golden eyes were still cast down, not able to look Mustang straight into the face.

"Is there a way we could help you? I could check on assignments for you which involve a little more…" he gestured around "more people. You'd make more friends and meet the one you're meant for."

Ed's right eye twitched before he looked up into those incredible dark blue eyes. They seemed to be black pools in the dim light.

Without any word, he leaned forward and took the glass out of Mustangs hand. He took a big swig, letting the alcohol warm him from the inside. He shook his head a little, tasting the strong flavour on his tongue.

"Not possible, Mustang!" He shook his head again, this time in denial. Giving the almost empty glass back to his superior officer he cast his eyes down to his right hand.

"That name's gone with my right arm. No way of ever knowing if there's even one out there for me."

Roy's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yeah, sad story, now fuck off Mustang! And leave me alone!" Edward snapped out of his weary mood and got hold of the book again.

"You don't remember it?"

"No!"

"Nothing?"

"Nothing! What do you even care? Get out now!" He nodded his head towards the door. But Mustang had something else on his mind.

He actually did stand up from the bed. But he put down the glass of whiskey on the nearby nightstand. His hands moved to his belt as he undid it.

"What the fuck Mustang? Undress yourself in front of someone else I don't wanna be a part of your perverted ideas!" A deep red blush tinted his cheeks. His heart racing again.

The belt was now loose around Roy's hips. He pulled up his shirt. Edward had gotten to his own feet as well. He wanted to push Mustang away, out of the room, not wanting him close. Edward felt that he could no longer restrain himself from falling into Mustang's arms. He didn't know if he wanted to either cry out the pain he felt or to help the other to get undressed some more.

Arms outstretched Ed was pushing Mustang by his shoulders towards the door as his eyes fell on a black line.

It was just above Roy's hip bone, lit by light of the moon.

His own name.

Edward stopped in his movements. Eyes flying up to meet Roy's.

"What…?"

"I've always wondered if it was you." Now Roy's voice was as quiet as a whisper as if he didn't want to scare Edward away.

"But you never gave any hint that I was right. I've watched you, caught you looking at me and yet", he took a deep breath "I could never be sure!

"I had wanted to ask you but we've always been fighting and I could never find the right words. How could I even imaging to tell you? Edward, I'm not only your superior officer, but I am also much older than you are. How would that have sounded if I had told you?!"

Edward had been holding Roy's gaze. But his eyes now flickered back down to that bit of revealed flesh and the only letter he was able to read.

E

"If I had only known that you have lost what could tie us together I would have made my move."

Roy had raised a hand. The back of his fingers brushed lightly over Edward's cheek. The younger Alchemist didn't look back up. Instead he took a step forward to close the last bit of space between them. His arms closed around Roy's frame, keeping him close.

A painful smile showed on Roy's face. But it turned into something softer as he returned the embrace.

A hand brushed down Edward's unkempt hair.

 

"I've finally found you!"


End file.
